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Take Time to Go Deeper

Vincent Van Gogh said, "It is looking at things for a long time that ripens you and gives you a deeper understanding."

Van Gogh was a very wise man.

Because your life is your creation, taking the time to really look at it can give you information that might otherwise pass you by. That's why the quiet, reflective, lying-fallow time of winter is so sacred—it gives you the time to look more closely, to remember, to imagine, without expectations that you will yet act on what you discover.

This week, in exploring answers to the question, "Who am I?" we invite you to ponder this:

What Saps My Energy?

You can learn much about who you are by identifying what makes you feel fatigued. Thoughts, things, activities, and people who make you tired are not supporting the fullest and most joyful expression of you. This week...

• Conduct a personal energy audit. Whether it's a momentary fatigue or a chronic sense of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, ask yourself what's dragging you down at the times when you feel most tired. Is it a job? A situation you don't want to face? A boring activity? A commitment you've put off or a decision you don't want to make? A feeling of being overwhelmed? Whatever it is, journal about it. No need to beat yourself up about it or try to figure out a solution right now. Just recognize that it's important information in shaping a life that's better suited to you. We'll come back to it at a future date.

• Ask yourself how much of your life you're living out of fear. Fear can take a lot of different forms: Fear of not having enough time or money, fear of success or failure, fear of not being loved or loving. It's not possible to operate from fear and feel joyful, and joy is what makes you feel alive and whole. So, in your journal, write about any area of your life in which fear seems to be the driving force. Again, just let the information surface for now, and know that that is enough.

• Pay attention to your tribal beliefs. Your family of origin instilled in you many beliefs about yourself and the world. This is neither good nor bad—it's what every "tribe" or family does. But sometimes those beliefs are limiting, and limitations can sap your energy when your soul longs to soar. Think back to times in your childhood when you felt constrained by the family code or teachings. How much have you internalized and lived your life by these teachings? Is it time to let them go?

Sacred Listening: The Language of Conciliation

You may, without thinking about it, talk to yourself in the language of confrontation or accusation. Your self-talk may sound something like this:

“Why did you say that?”
“What were you thinking?”
“Could you have made any bigger mess of things?”
“When are you going to snap out of it?”

This language probably has the same effect on you as it does on others: it produces more fear, guilt, and shame…things that each of us (and the world) already has in abundant supply.

This week, listen for that kind of language, and start replacing it with the language of conciliation. Try starting conversations with yourself using language like this:

“Help me understand why…”
“Tell me more about…”
“How can I support you in... ?”

These questions elicit honesty, understanding, and acceptance…

things that each of us (and the world) could use a lot more of.

Our Winter Totem Animal: The Bear

"Polar Bear medicine wisdom is about adapting and surviving in a hostile environment. Many modern cities are as cold and barren to the spirt as polar regions are to the body. Invoke Polar Bear medicine to find and keep the warmth alive in your heart—anywhere, in any circumstances."

—Shamanic Wisdom II: The Way of the Animal Spirits

Favorite Resources

Grace CD by Snatam Kaur (White Swan Records). Music can be a valuable asset to your spiritual practice, helping you move into a place of wonder, gratitude, and letting go. Among the many, many wonder-full CDs of contemplative music is Grace, a collection of everything from ancient mantras to an Irish blessing. The clear voice of Snatam Kaur is accompanied by flute, Indian violin and acoustic guitar for music that can quiet your soul and uplift your spirit. Listen to "Long Time Sun" as an anthem to your inner wisdom.

"There is a self inside each one of us aching to be born. And when this aching breaks into our lives...we must somehow find the courage to say yes.”

—Sue Monk Kidd, from When the Heart Waits (HarperCollins, 1990)